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Hot Male Celebrity Draft – Intro and Voting

February 27, 2009

In our world of male-gaze, celebrity tabloids, and a culture of youth, the opportunity for the objectification of men to the exclusion of everything else is a rare and elusive experience. In this spirit, this blog presents, as an anthropological study, the Hot Male Celebrity Draft.

Also, have you seen those abs? Damn.

I will leave my commentary for the round-up post, but let me say this: you learn a lot about your friends during hot guy draft – who will play dirty, who has sentimental favorites, and who has jobs that actually make them do work. Also, we broke gmail. Sorry, about Tuesday everybody; this was important.

The rules, adapted from Marc’s blog, are simple. Let me reproduce my invitation to the draft participants:

WHAT is the hot guy draft?
Ripped from the headlines of Abanto’s blog, hot guy draft is the female (and much better) version of drafting hot celebrities into teams. Hottest team overall wins (by popular vote on my blog later).

HOW does one participate in such a draft?
Through email. One at a time, we will go through the rounds. Once chosen, the hot guy cannot be drafted onto another team. 12 rounds, [we went to 6] so we’re not here until April. Show your work – pictures especially appreciated.

WHO is eligible to draft?
After several discussions, I’ve decided anyone who has a significant presence on Google outside of Facebook is eligible. You should shoot for some level or celebrity or notoriety. No Katie, Dan from geography class is not eligible. In a disturbing turn for Marissa, Rahm Emanuel is eligible. International guys encouraged. Sexual orientation is no matter. This is pure aesthetics. Hot guy is as of RIGHT NOW – no “Paul Newman in Butch Cassidy” and no Heath Ledger. Too soon?

*THE CHRIS SINGEL CLAUSE* – No one under 18. Mostly to keep everyone from embarrassing themselves

The roster is below. Photo reference afterwards:

Team ALICE or Surprisingly not all British
1. Michael Vartan
2. Paul Walker
3. Prince Harry
4. Blair Underwood
5. Maxwell Caulfield
6. Aaron Peirsol

Team FAITH or Absolutely Ruthless

1. Paul Rudd
2. David Beckham
3. Josh Lucas
4. Chase Crawford
5. Eric Bana
6. Will Smith

Team FIONA or Hey we just watched that movie!
1. Robert Downey Jr.
2. David Tennant
3. Brad Pitt
4. Adam Brody
5. Henry Cavill
6. Jensen Ackles

Team JULIE or Did you really think Jerry O’Connell wasn’t going to be on there?
1. Jerry O’Connell
2. George Clooney
3. Bradley Cooper
4. Aaron Eckhart
5. Denzel Washington
6. Hugh Grant

Team KATIE or I have 20 backups
1. Daniel Craig
2. Simon Baker
3. Tyson Beckford
4. Adrien Grenier
5. Jon Hamm
6. Brendan Hines

Team LIZ or I don’t want to get fired for downloading half-naked men

1. Chad Michael Murray
2. Ashton Kutcher
3. Jason Lewis
4. Chase Utley
5. Eric Dane
6. Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Team MARISSA or Playing from the transportation hearing

1. Matthew McConaughey
2. Jude Law
3. David Anders
4. John Corbett
5. Pierce Brosnan
6. John Krasinski


1. Hugh Jackman
2. Johnny Depp
3. Gael Garcia Bernal
4. Freddie Ljungberg
5. Hayden Christensen
6. Jason Momoa

Team SHEENA or Distracted by cute puppies mid-draft
1. Jake Gyllenhaal
2. Matt Damon
3. James Franco
4. Jesse Metcalfe
5. Jonathan Rhys Meyers
6. Andy Roddick

Team TAYLOR or Repping sci-fi almost single-handedly

1. Damian Lewis
2. Clive Owen
3. Jamie Bamber
4. Nigel Barker
5. Joe Flanigan
6. Usher (Raymond IV)

Team VAL or Most True to Pure Aesthetics Rule
1. Ryan Reynolds
2. Sean William Scott
3. Ryan Phillipe
4. Christian Bale
5. Jay Hernandez
6. Zachary Levi

Photo reference for all picks are HERE (also a geographical distribution of the picks), as provided by the draft captains or chosen at random from Google image search by your commissioner (possibly (??) NSFW. Underwear models, basically).

LET THE VOTING BEGIN *bows in Iron Chef style*

ETA: Sunday, March 1, 8pm ESTVOTING HAS ENDED and Team SHEENA wins with 15 votes! Round-up and more tomorrow.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. February 27, 2009 6:06 pm

    I’m offended. What if someone really wanted that young Jonas brother? Or, like, the baby on Scrubs?

    I had a much longer post delving into each list, but I suddenly wanted to dance to “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” so I’m just gonna vote and go do something manly.

  2. katie permalink
    February 27, 2009 6:06 pm

    so…it’s been up for an hour and twenty minutes and yet no comments? this is the best thing we’ve done in a while. it deserves a lot of praise.

  3. February 27, 2009 8:16 pm

    Teams Faith (Chase Crawford! and Paul Rudd anchoring), Sheena (Jake Gyllenhaal! and Andy Roddick), and Val (the Ryans!) have the best duos and are my top three. And I have to call out Taylor for THE WORST team. Though, honestly, a young Nigel Barker reeeeally does it for me 😉

    Also, a quick FAIL to Alice for selecting Aaron Peirsol. the end.

  4. katie permalink
    February 27, 2009 8:20 pm

    mario is stupid.

  5. February 27, 2009 10:56 pm

    Also, Katie and Julie seem to be playing in a separate fantasy league for “most gentlemanly team of old dudes”. It’s reverse cheating; they’ve set themselves up to lose… but I think Julie just edges out a victory in their 1-on-1.

  6. katie permalink
    February 27, 2009 11:00 pm

    to be fair, taylor’s average age of dudes is much older than mine, and the ages of my picks range from 32-41. and alice has a bunch of guys in their late late late 40s. like almost 50, 40s.

  7. Julie permalink
    February 27, 2009 11:01 pm

    Suck it Mario.

  8. Andrew permalink
    February 28, 2009 10:55 am

    Suck it Jerry O’Connell.

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