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Hot Guy Draft: Winner and Round-up

March 2, 2009

The thing about Hot Guy Draft, you see, is that it was reactionary. When we saw Abanto’s Hot Female Celebrity Draft go up, there was immediate backlash. “Social inequalities!”, Alice said. Katie started writing down her own candidates a week before anyone else got there. I combed through IMDB. Discussions were had over dinner and at bars, fights over relative hotness broke out, and alliances were formed (well maybe not that last one, but it seems in these situations that alliances are always formed).

With all my “internet prowess”, though I couldn’t forsee how much interest there was in Hot Male Celebrity Draft, most of it from males. However, I’d like to give specific shoutouts here:

    To whomever visited the draft from India, Brazil and France. Also for whatever workaround Dylz found in China to vote.
    To the entire office of Rep. Betsy Markey, for voting for Marissa.
    To the geek squad I recruited via Twitter and Facebook. You guys did me proud.
    To the new stream of search terms that will direct traffic to this blog forever:

Now to the draft results:


So our final winner is Team Sheena, with an impressive 17% of the votes (considering there were 11 options). Serena and I are tied for second place in a show of what targeted appeals for votes can do (Know your audience!).

Marissa lead right out of the gate. She had 8 votes within a half-hour. I found this suspicious, so I gchatted Marissa late Friday to see what was up:

me: are you throwing this?!?
Marissa: i am just actively recruiting voters
i have a lot of friends on gchat right now
that’s legit, right?
me: yes, lobbying is legit πŸ™‚
Marissa: everyone loves this
although some of my coworkers voted for other teams
bc they didnt agree with my decisions 😦

Such is a risk you take, I suppose, but as Marissa used up her lobbying voters early, Sheena continued to slowly gain ground until she had significant lead. Why did Sheena win? I would say a combination of name recognition and strategically chosen photos. That Matt Damon selection? Almost 10 years old. I feel almost cheated by this, except that picture is uniquely hot. Her Jonathan Rhys-Meyers selection late in the game was essential, and Roddick just clinched it. I don’t doubt Sheena’s pick were genuinely who she found attractive (more on this later), but she really pulled up some classic hotness to add to her team. I don’t see a weak link on her lineup.

Team Alice started really strongly, but hit possible road bumps for general audience popularity at Prince Harry and Maxwell Caulfield. As the picture Al provided me of Caulfield was from 1985, I chose a more recent one. I can assure you, Mr. Caulfield has aged well from his star turn in Grease 2. Aaron Piersol was an excellent sports closer, although some male viewership (*cough* Mario *cough*) thought otherwise.

For nearly everyone, Round 1 was a sentimental favorite, while Round 2 was a straight out grab for votes. Nowhere is this more clear than in Team Faith, who started with unbuttoned Paul Rudd and then pivoted to David Beckham’s highly suggestive underwear ad. Team Faith also won for youngest entrant with Chase Crawford, at the precocious age of 23. Or, the closest in age to actual draft participants.

Team Fiona, much like the lady herself, played by her own rules. Brad Pitt in round 3 was her mainstream pick. Fiona also knew her opponents. What may seem like a very strange pick in Round 2 was actually strategy against me. Fiona also did well by picking the other guy from The Tudors in round 5, who would have been tragically overlooked because of Rhys-Meyers. I really liked her team, but then again, I’m not the general voting population.

What to say about Team Julie? As the draft was being set up, she threatened to “pull a Stommel” and draft a team entirely of Jerry O’Connell. Listen, I’ve had hours of conversation on Julie’s love for O’Connell, and I still don’t get it. Just nod and accept this part of her. Fortunately, Julie pulled out all the stops in round 2 and 6 and went for classics like Clooney and Hugh Grant. Denzel Washington was also a surprise, although I’m not sure that picture was contemporary.

If I couldn’t have voted for myself, I would have voted for Team Katie. Katie played the game real well, and had plenty of backups. She went with her gut, and as Miller said “took some good risks”. She stole Simon Baker from underneath Alice’s nose in round 2 and then followed it up with “the first ethnically diverse draft pick” with Tyson Beckford. She also smartly played her Jon Hamm selection with a Mad Men picture. The only perceived weak point was her last pick: Brendan Hines. When she sent me this pick, I was over the moon, because Hines was in one of most recently favorite shows, The Middleman, and believe you me, he is HOT in it. Unfortunately, no one else knew who the hell he was, and Katie’s team suffered.

Team Liz was probably the most age-appropriate considering the draft participants, and I was honestly surprised she didn’t get more votes. Perhaps this blog’s audience just enjoy their older gentleman. Chase Utley was a diamond in the rough I would have never even thought of and the Eric Dane slipping towel selection distracted the entire email chain for a while. My favorite of Liz’s team was the last: Jeffrey Dean Morgan. I think this says more about me.

I feel like I might have handicapped Team Marissa, as her picture selection was largely up to me. Google image search was frustrating for both John Corbett and David Anders, men who I know to be brain-meltingly hot when not reduced to a static picture. Marissa also went for older Bond, which was a nice surprise, and Jude Law certainly didn’t hurt at all.

Team Serena was the dark-horse of the whole competition. I could never guess what her next pick would be. That Hugh Jackman picture! The guy who played Che! Hayden Christensen with shorter hair! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, SWEDEN PRODUCED THAT? My referral logs also show that Serena was lobbying in very specific circles, which certainly upped her vote count. Well played.

I must confess, my own team was largely sentimental. I probably have the oldest age average. I attribute my own 2nd place finish to excellent picture selection, running this on my own blog, and recruiting people who I know would vote for my team specifically to the draft. Is that cheating? Is K St a slightly shady place to work? All I know is that to deny the hair of the Flan is to deny life itself, and that I recruited more people to watch Battlestar Galactica with that one Jamie Bamber towel picture than a intriguing panel at ComicCon.

Team Val came in third, and its easy to see why. I nicknamed her team “Most true to pure aesthetics” because after the initial shock of her Christian Bale pick, we all realized we’d missed an opportunity by counting his crazed rant against him. This was not Hot Nicest Male Celebrity Draft, and Val remembered that. She was smart to scoop up Ryan Reynolds on the first round, as he certainly would have gone fast otherwise. Much like Katie’s 6th round, Val’s choice of Zachary Levi for her final pick was exciting to me, but lost on the general populace.

Thanks everyone for voting, commenting, and enjoying last week. I’ve heard whispers on the interwebs of a “Respectable Women” draft, in which great leaders in art, science, politics would be chosen. I’m for it, except it should be renamed “Exceptional Women” draft, because who the hell needs to be respectable when you’re that awesome? Also, it calls up the word “lady-like”, which makes me ill.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. March 2, 2009 2:53 pm

    I have the greatest respect for Sheena’s team and for her decisive victory. Indeed, there were moments when I feared that her team’s hotness rivaled that of my own.

    But no: let it be said. Jesse Metcalfe looks like a used car salesman.

  2. Dennis permalink
    March 2, 2009 4:53 pm

    I unfortunately missed the deadline for voting, but I wanted to let you know that last night /I/ recruited someone to bsg w/ that picture.

  3. Ben permalink
    March 3, 2009 6:58 am

    Not sure if the “Exceptional Women” draft will happen. Being in China means I can’t really interact that much with draft members, and the level of intensity that your draft was taken to would not be replicable. If I was in the District, I would love to spearhead it, but without that personal touch, the “Exceptional Women” draft would be a pale comparison to yours.

    Seriously, it sounds like you guys had an awesome time. I miss hanging out late-night talking to people about these sorts of things.

  4. March 3, 2009 4:55 pm

    An “Exceptional Woman” draft absolutely should happen, with the stipulation that fictional characters are eligible.

    (Yes, I have yet a new blog. I’m, uh, sticking to this one, I promise.)

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